Thursday, October 18, 2012

Surviving as a married couple

So a couple of weeks ago was tough on me.  The Parental Units had their birthdays (yes, they were born on the same day) and my dad hit the big 5-0.  Dad got a surprise party from my mom and their church family.  Everyone important to them were there, including the In Laws.  Thankfully, one of their very tech savvy friends hooked it up so the Hubs and I could Skype in.  However, that was not the same.
It hurt to know I wasn't there to celebrate with them (and eat their birthday pizza with the family).  And I kind of had a meltdown.  The kind that doesn't like living in another country, missing family and friends, and yells at her every patient husband.
The meltdown included tears, mean words, and more tears, but ended with a survival plan.  My amazingly, awesome husband created "The M's Guide to Surviving Costa Rica".  Typed it up and printed it even.  Yep, I got lucky with this one.
This is our guide.

  • Do at least one nice thing for the other spouse each day
  • Do at least one thing as a couple each week (walk, date, bike ride, etc.)
  • Have an “E Talk” at least three times a week 
  • Do at least one thing to feel connected to other PCVs each week
  • Do at least one thing to feel connected to people at home each week
I am finding out who my forever friends are, and that requires work on both of our parts.  Well, the Hubs is my forever best friend, and our relationship requires work.  I have been so lazy.  I expected the Hubs to do all the work for various reasons and he the same of me.  Part of my meltdown was feeling alone.  Alone in a house of 8+ people and only private space was our "treehouse"  (really our bedroom with wood boards that doesn't block out anything including rain and bugs). We got so caught up in our new lives here we forgot each other.  Our guide to surviving includes things that we will use for the rest of our lives.  I can see this being built into our relationship siempre (always).  These are things I want to incorporate into other forever friendships.

What things do you do to keep your relationship with friends, family, and spouse healthy?  I would love to hear what you do and maybe spark ideas for me.  

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